Inspiration

All of us runners had to start somewhere.  At some point there was a person, or an event, or a book, or a movie or whatever it was, that got us to say 'you know what?  I can do that too.'  And then you laced up your shoes, put on whatever clothes that seemed most athletic, and went out the door to try and really run.  Those initial sources of inspiration are things we never forget.  We hold them dear to our hearts and look at them as the roots of the running we have grown to love. 

I clearly remember this day as the first day I KNEW I waned to be a runner.
Don't I look nice in my brother's letter jacket? :)

Through everyone's evolution in their running there are additional sources of inspiration along the way - friends that are running further or faster than you, people that are 'zen runners' and can get out there without a watch or a game plan and just run for the sake of running, people like Scott Jurek or Dean Karnazes or Ray Zahab, a podcast on Trail Runner Nation may have really resonated with you and inspire you to train for a 50 miler.  Each person has had key things in their running journey inspire them to take things to a different level, and those things are always kept in a special place in their memory.

On the flipside, you, as a runner, have very likely inspired someone else in your life to also tie their shoes and head out the door as well.  I bet there's more than once you've been running down the side of a road and someone in that car driving by that was smoking a cigarette and eating French fries out of a paper bag from McDonalds and looked at you and said - 'yes, I can do that.'  And afterwards, they did in fact do that.  They ran.  And they ran because they saw you out there. 

A great gift to us runners is that the running community is so accessible.  You can pretty easily get in touch with any elite runner out there, can often find out where they will be racing or doing a book signing and go there, and because of that can often talk to or meet the person who has inspired you to do so much more than you thought you ever could. 

A great gift in that accessibility is that we, as mere humble runners, can thank someone that has inspired us.  And that is a very personal thing!  Dean Karnazes is someone that helped push me from running road marathons to ultra trail races.  His endurance, positive attitude, and willingness to open up about his passion (while being a natural introvert) motivated me to do push further, and at the same time tell people about what I was doing.  That's a priceless piece of inspiration to me, and I was lucky enough a few years ago to meet Dean on a few different occasions.  I was very excited to finally be able to tell him, the man that I would think of is the darkest times of my running to help push me through, that he was my inspiration, and how grateful I was for that.

I was running with Dean towards the end of a group run that was coordinated by a local North Face store, and I was able to get out the words of appreciation for doing all that he does, and how he inspired me to push further in my own running.  His response was a simple 'thank you', and then quickly asked me a question about Madison.  Yes, my compliment was acknowledged, but it didn't quite give me the satisfaction I was looking for.  I mean, for a few years this man is what mentally pushed me to bring my A game, run further than I ever thought I could, and be much more open with my friends and athletes with something that I previously held close as incredibly personal. 

I didn't think much about that interaction again until yesterday. I was running with a friend of mine who is training for her second marathon.  She's only been running a few years, but is working hard on increasing her endurance while having fun, involving her friends, and is very mindful and open about the positive role running plays in her life.  We were in the second half of our long run when she told me that I was an inspiration of hers to push herself further when she was running.  It was such a nice compliment that I didn't expect at all, and I, like Dean had done to me, said a brief 'thank you' and wanted to quickly change the subject.

I see many runners (and people in general) brush off or even deflect compliments, especially ones that are meaningful - not just a 'you look nice today' or 'cute dress' compliment.  By nature I think we as runners are just humble, hard working people that are more than happy to do our hardest work in the darkness of night, by ourselves, away from being the center of any sort of attention.  But the reality is that our hard work is not unnoticed.  One of my favorite quotes is 'Work hard in silence, let success make the noise.'  And that 'noise' inspires people around us without our even knowing. 

So next time someone comes up to you, or sends you an email or text to tell you how much of an inspiration you are to them, acknowledge that.  Thank them for the compliment and even ask them a question to expand further.  It is an important moment for them to tell you something that personal and genuine, so do your best to accept it and be gracious.  It is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I can inspire anyone to do anything - after all, I'm just a runner.  But we are a community of people that are fueled by the way we are inspired by each other, and I think that's pretty awesome. 

 

Race Recap - Trailbreaker Marathon

I am a believer in signs, and I felt like my morning of my race was scattered with them.
     1- I had a pretty good night of sleep. I still woke up a fair amount, but was able to fall right back to sleep, so when my alarm went off at 5am I didn't want to throw my phone across the room, which was nice for a change.
     2 - The first full song that came on the radio as I was driving to Waukesha was my FAVORITE.  (Mirrors by Justin Timberlake, in case you're curious :)
     3 - My textbook hydration made me have to stop at a rest area on the way to the race, and when I got inside the song Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen was playing. Born to Run! Can you believe that??  If that isn't a sign that you're about to have a great marathon I don't know what is.

     4 - There was an older man standing outside the rest area when I was jogging back to my car. I gave him a warm 'good morning!' which he promptly echoed back to me. I noticed he was watching me  run back to my car and he got a big smile and said 'You're so lucky you can jog, I can't any more because of my legs.'  It thought about it for a second, and I thought 'yes - I AM lucky that I can run!'  How lucky that I had a marathon to run where I was healthy, felt rested, and no injuries to speak of.  I really was lucky!

I kept thinking about that man, and other people I know that are limited by their bodies for one reason or another and literally can't run.  I decided that those people would be my source of strength as I ran the impending 26.2 miles.

Packet pick up went smoothly, the temperature was a comfortable 32°, and the breeze was really light.  As we lined up and listened to the announcements and the National Anthem I reminded myself of what my goals were.  - this is just a long run, you're not racing. - run the second half faster the first. - keep eating and drinking even if you don't feel like it.  - listen to your body.  - don't obsess over mentally calculating your splits/pace. 

I originally wanted to finish between 4:15 and 4:30, since the middle 6ish miles were on pretty technical trail, and at the half way point you had to climb a 40 foot tower, ring a bell, and then run back to the start.  Well, mother nature had a different plan and rained like a monsoon two nights before, so for the third time in the history of the race, we had to run an alternate route where we just ran further on the flat, paved, Glacial Drumlin Trail and then head back.  Knowing this, I adjusted my mental time to about 4 hours. 

I had two sleeves of gel cubes with me, some peanut butter pretzel sandwiches, and a bottle of water so I was set for a good long while. I had  drop bag with a Red Bull and more cubes to be delivered to the 4th aid station, so right away it felt good to not be carrying all my supplies at once.  I held myself to 9:37 for the first mile, and then slowly started to move up from there.  The sun was shining, people were chipper, and I felt like I was dressed perfectly for the weather.  I had my iPod with me equipped with a bunch of new tunes, but didn't want to put it on until I felt like I really needed it. 

I like to run with a mantra so it keeps me focused - for this one it was 'relaxed and conservative.'  It really helped me to stay within a comfortable, but not boring pace.  My body felt surprisingly good considering the whole run was on pavement (and some concrete for a few miles in Waukesha) and I was rounding out a 70 mile week which was a lot for me. After just 15 minutes or so I started debating if I should stop for a quick pee break.  It was a true mental struggle to decide what to do - can I deal with this the whole way?  What if I stop and it takes two minutes and then I miss my PR by 2 minutes? (even though I wasn't racing, I was still thinking it would be nice to PR comfortably if I had that kind of fitness level in me.) If I don't stop will I slow down in my liquids and regret it later?  I ran past two empty port a potties, and then decided that I'd stop at the 4th aid station where my drop bag was and get all my 'errands' out of the way in one spot. 

Well, it didn't quite work as planned - the drop bags weren't there yet (which yes, did irritate me), and then a guy went into the porta potty right as I was running up to it.  Considering he was moving fast, and was a man, I figured he'd be fast.  Well, I was wrong.  I could hear him blowing his nose and fumbling around.  I'm not sure if he was making origami swans out of toilet paper or what, but I was not so subtly making loud throat clearing noises right outside the door until he came out.  It was only about 2 minutes that he was in there, but felt like 20, and I topped it off with a dirty look as well which made me feel better.

30 seconds later I was back on my way and glad I stopped, even though it took more time than I wanted.  A volunteer assured my that my drop bag would be there when I came back so I figured it was good that I waited to have my Red Bull until mile 16 or so, and I had enough gel cubes to last till then so it wasn't a big deal. 

Getting to mile 13 felt good - I checked my watch and was right around 2 hours even, so I was glad I could do easy mental math to shoot for my negative split.  Leading up to the turn around I had a ballpark idea of how many women were in front of me, so I decided to slowly try and overtake as many as felt reasonably comfortable.  Most people slow down in the second half so I was banking on that, and was feeling good about the pep I still had in my legs. 

I kept with the 'relaxed and conservative' mantra, though once I'm running for a long time I get really forgetful, so I kept stumbling over the 'conservative' part.  I'd think 'relaxed and... comfortable? cozy? cucumber?  umm..... oh yeah - conservative!'

Thankfully, my drop bag was at mile 16 so I quickly took my jacket off and threw that along with my sleeves in there, and took my cubes and Red Bull with me.  I was starting to get just a little tired, so the boost of the sugary caffeinated goodness instantly helped. I figured it was also a good time to throw in the iPod and kill two birds with one stone.  Some F.Stokes got me into cruise control mode, and off I went.

I slowly crept up on a handful of women and felt good about that.  Right after mile 23 I looked ahead and saw a woman walking that I thought could be the first woman in my age group (granted, it's hard to tell ages of women runners since we all look so youthful and vibrant) but I thought she might be in my 35-39, so I turned things up a notch.  The faster pace felt a little tougher, but not overly taxing, so I just tried to keep it up to put as much distance between me and her as I could.  At this point we were overlapping with the half marathoners that started an hour and a half after the marathoners.  Passing them and also telling them 'good job!' kept me going. 

And then there was mile 25.  I decided to really try and push my pace...   and after just a couple minutes got really nauseas and scaled back a bit again.  The last 1.2 miles were that same pattern repeating - feeling alright and wanting to be done, pushing my pace, churning stomach, and slowing back down a bit.  Over and over and over.  Eventually my 'thank yous' to the volunteers became grunts and pleading stares for them to move the finish line closer.

Finally I made it there and was happily met by my mom who had a nice fleece blanket and sour cream and onion Pringles.  Exactly what I needed.  I finished in 3:50.03, less than two minutes off my PR (THANKS A LOT SLOW GUY IN THE BATHROOM!), and felt surprisingly good. 

After pavement marathons I typically feel pretty crippled, but this time I felt relatively good still.  I can only attribute that to two things - I ate and kept eating immediately after finishing.  And I started adding in weight room workouts the last month or so. My legs just felt stronger this time around and I definitely think it was the leg work I have been doing.

I felt good as I drove home with my medal and award for being second in my age group (7th overall female) and was glad that I had the discipline to run a negative split by ten minutes.  Now I get to taper in preparation for the Chippewa 50K that is coming up on April 26th. 

My recovery has just been resting, grazing on food, and trying to not wear shoes along with gentle stretching.  A longer walk with the dog will be in order later this afternoon, along with a nap. :)

You Know I Am Coming Up On Race Weekend When...

It has been quite a while since I've pinned on a race number, but I am going to be doing just that this weekend.  I am running a marathon, but using it as a training run, not racing it.  Even though my intention is not to race, I can't help but still prepare this week like I would if I was going for a PR.  Which leads me to....

You Know I Am Coming Up On Race Weekend When:

I try to wear flats instead of heels so my calves get some rest.

I start picking out my running clothes for Saturday on Tuesday.

My race prep for the Nike Women's Marathon in 2007

I conveniently use the race as an excuse to take naps any chance I get.

I compulsively check the forecast every few hours just in case anything changes.

 

I can turn the direction of any conversation to running. (okay, I do that anyway)

 

I study the course map at length, know the distance between aid stations, and exactly what will be at each one.

 

I eat everything in sight saying ‘it’s okay – I have a marathon/50k/Ragnar relay this weekend!’

 

My house/apartment is picture perfect because I don’t want anything to go missing.

 

Whenever I look like I'm deep in concentration, I'm really just visualizing my race.

 

I actually stretch.

 

I have anxiety dreams that I wake up late, get lost on the way to the starting line, have to race through parking garages and alleyways but my legs can hardly move so I end up running on my hands, and can hardly even catch up to the back of the pack runners.

 

 

I must have just had an anxiety dream! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brain Training

There's a commonly repeated quote about ultra running that is '90% of running an ultra is mental, and the other 10% is mental.'  I totally agree with that.  Sure, logging miles, running hills, fueling properly, and listening to your body are all important elements, but if you get to the line on race day and you aren't sure can do it, and you're not focused - you are probably about to endure a running nightmare. 

I am really intrigued by how the brain works, and am fascinated with how powerful it really is.  To complement my physical training I have been doing since December, I felt that I needed some more refinement with my mental game.  I have spent a fair amount of time at a local Buddhist temple called Deer Park.  I first became interested after hearing the Dalai Lama speak back in ... 2008 I think it was.  Every now and then they host a day that they call the Day of Silence, or the Day of Meditation.  I went to a Day of Silence back in 2009 and found it to be extremely helpful in not just quieting my brain, but focusing for a really long period of time.  This past Saturday I went to a similar event. 

Deer Park - last summer

The schedule of the day was:
9:00 - 9:15 - overview of the day; begin silence. (yes, we weren't supposed to talk at all, except for during Q&A times.)
9:15-10:15 - teaching
10:15 - 10:45 - meditation
10:45 - 11 - break
11 - 11:30 - Q&A
11:30 - 12 walking meditation
12 - 12:45 - lunch (silent)
12:45 - 1:15 - walking meditation
1:15 - 2:15 - teaching
2:15 - 2:45 - meditation
2:45 - 3 - tea and cookies in the temple
3 - 3:30 - Q&A
3:30 - 3:45 - meditation
3:45 - 4:30 - closing

There were 60 people attending which I thought was a fantastic turnout, but it became apparent during the day that people were struggling to stay focused and invested.  Maybe around 15 or more people bailed as the day went on.  I did take a break during the afternoon teaching to take a walk outside and caught a 15 minute cat nap which did rejuvenate me.  During the afternoon I took the meditation time to really work on visualization for my race - I do this fairly often as I'm falling asleep, or when I'm on a run, but it felt good to sit there and really visualizing all the pieces of the 50k. 

Prayer flags behind Deer Park. So pretty!

I'm happy I took a whole day to sharpen my mental game and enjoy some quiet.  I have to admit, there's something pretty cool about a room full of people eating lunch at the same time and it's not filled with mindless chatter about people's jobs, their opinions, their complaints, or their questions.  You could just sit and be.  All you needed to do was exchange smiles and that was enough. 

After my day of silence and meditation I was ready to gather my thoughts for Sunday's 22 miler.  It was going to be my first time doing a long run in the morning, so I did my best to prepare.  I'm much more of an evening runner, so starting a run at 8am is not my idea of a good time.... but if I'm going to be ready for Saturday's marathon, and next month's 50k, I knew I needed to do at least one long run with the right food once. 

Things went pretty smoothly, and I took it easy to enjoy the scenery and just cover the miles - I didn't need to try and zip through them.  Temps warmed from the low 30's to almost 50 by the time I was done.  The paved trails were quiet to start - probably people sleeping in after celebrating the Badgers making it to the Final Four the night before!!  :)   But I had plenty of birds to listen to, saw almost 20 cranes enjoying the warm day, and loved not having to worry about snow and ice for the first time this year! 

See the two cranes??

I finished the run pretty strong.  I do feel like I'm not quite in the shape I'd like to be in, but I am recovering really quickly which isn't usually the case.  In looking forward to Saturday's marathon I'm just looking forward to finally having people around, and I don't have to carry all my water and food!  It should be a great way to end my training and kick off my taper.  My tight hips and calves in yoga class tonight reminded me that my three week taper will be a great opportunity to get some more classes in.  :)  

 

Shedding Light on the Dark

It’s easy to write about running or talk about running when it’s going well.  You want to celebrate your victories, share your new insights on the world, and disclose your happiness of a smooth, long run with perfect hydration, mental focus and strong legs.  It’s natural to want to share your happiness, but when you have a bobble, or worse, a meltdown, you want to keep it under wraps and not let anyone know. Well, I’m writing to do the opposite.  Shed light on the dark spots of training and as I like to say it, ‘put my chili out there.’  If I go through it, I’m willing to bet everyone else does too.  We just don’t shout it from the rooftops.

I would have to say that probably 95% of the time I’m mentally calm, focused, and have my ducks in a row. Not a whole lot rattles me (and generally not for long when it does), I maintain perspective on different events pretty well, and  do a good job at being mindful of the core facets of my life (work, training, coaching, health, relationships).  And then there’s a day like yesterday. 

I woke up in a good mood from a great three hour workout the night before, was excited to do a little baking while my boyfriend snored in the other room, and was going to write out my final five weeks of training and lounge with coffee and a good book.  The baking went as planned and I felt good as the smell of banana nut muffins permeated my small apartment.  Then I took my calendar dry erase board to write out what my training had in store for me for the final five weeks leading up to my 50k. And then it happened.  Seeing those final two weeks of mileage building and three week taper fit perfectly on the calendar made my heart jump up in my throat.  Seeing race day sitting on the very last day with its pink border and exclamation points made me feel like it was taunting me instead of promoting excitement. 

                My last two weeks of training were not what I had planned, since one week was in Las Vegas and I had nothing but concrete to run on which did a number on my calves which were already pretty severely knotted up, and then I came down with a really nasty cold the following week.  I started to feel my anxiety rise and that led to my brain starting to spiral.  Am I running enough hills?  My trail shoes aren’t working for me with long distances, should I try different ones?  Have I been doing enough upper body and core work to help me power though the race?  I’ve barely thought about nutrition and how I want to handle that – what will I be eating?  

And of course once you are stressing and unsure of one area of your life, self-doubt and internal conflict eventually creep into other areas as well.   How will I be able to handle speaking at this meeting on Friday?  Will I be able to pull all these big projects off?  Am I just playing dress up by wearing professional clothes and making decisions?  Am I too focused on my relationship?  Am I being needy?  Do I text or call my friends enough?  Did I make the right choice in the apartment I just signed a lease for?  Is this really the right nail polish color for me?  Am I having a bad hair day?  And on and on it goes.  Self-doubt knows no boundaries when you’re a naturally analytical person and a perfectionist.  There’s always something to be better at, someONE who is better at it than you, and mistakes that you will make. 

                I practically felt like I was drowning as all this started.  In my younger days I was a ball of nerves and anxiety most of the time, except for when I was running or horseback riding.  Thankfully times like these are more the exception than the rule, but that doesn’t make them any less jarring.  When my boyfriend woke up and shuffled into the living room he looked at me like I had antlers coming out of my head. I definitely was not the person he was used to being around. 

                I quickly ran down the list of usual activities that calm me down and focus me, so I threw on some clothes and my trail shoes and headed to Indian Lake to hike.  Fresh air and quiet always do a great job to recalibrate my head.  Unfortunately when I got out of the car I was greeted by a harsh, cold wind, and a thick layer of ice on the trails near the woods.  After two near falls down the side of a hill I turned around and went back to the car.  It obviously isn’t really spring yet here, and navigating a thick layer of ice without crampons and an ice pick was going to be a bad idea. 

                My plan B consisted of getting a new book at Barnes and Noble (George Sheehan – TheEssential Sheehan), sushi and a glass of white wine.  My chaos and second guessing finally started so subside.  Thank GOD.  After reading a few passages in Sheehan’s book, I had a realization.  I recognized that the source of so much of my stress I encounter is when I feel like I need to be someone else, or live up to someone else’s standards.  

                When I was spiraling about my race I was thinking about all the miles other people are probably logging, what they will think if I finish with a really slow time,  what my friends and family will think if I don’t finish in the top however many spots.  When I was stressing about my work presentation the source was a fear that the audience wouldn’t think I knew the material enough, they’d think I was nervous, I wouldn’t be polished enough and professional enough.  In both of those scenarios I was trying to be something, or someone else.  I was reading a book a week or so ago where the author was trying to be authentically herself more often, and in those moments that she succeeded, she was happier, more effective, and connected with people more easily.  So that’s the key here for me – to be Tracey in my training, in my work, in my relationships – I am a risk taking, envelope pushing, achievement lover.  So why not get tenacious and go for these things and rid myself of this mental clutter? 

                Sure, my last two weeks of training haven’t been great, but the 9 or 10 weeks prior were.  It’s time to pull things together and accept the hard, but rewarding work that I have to pull off before I taper.  I have always had a borderline paralyzing fear of public speaking, so instead of continuing to brood about it, work on it. Tomorrow night I have my first meeting with a local chapter of Toastmaasters International and I am actually pretty excited. I shared this on my facebook wall and the input and support I had from my friends made me even more resolute in addressing this fear and working on it. 

                I feel renewed today and am happy that I was able to shift the anxious energy I had yesterday into something constructive and positive.  I hope that being very open and direct about those dark places will encourage some of you to allow for that as well.  Those perceived short comings of ours can bring people closer together and give more understanding to those already complex relationships in your life.  It also gives you a great place to look back to once you’re on the other side of it and appreciate how you rallied out of a rough situation. 

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Turning point

Something happened this weekend. It was a Friday afternoon, and I was transitioning my focus towards my weekend runs - ten miles Friday night, 18 miles Saturday afternoon.  With this less than cooperative winter I was planning on doing both of these runs on the treadmill like a million past weekends. And I couldn't handle it - how many more hours could I take on a spinning belt without actually going anywhere?  I literally felt like I was about at my breaking point.  I went home for a late lunch Friday to pack my gym bag and mentally regroup.  "Okay self, we have to get creative.  How can we make another treadmill run actually be not just bearable, but FUN."   And then it hit me - what's one of the most fun things to watch?  Stand up comedy!  Sure, it's always better when you've had a glass or two of wine and your stomach is full of quesadillas and fresh guacamole, but water and a gel cube or two will be a good substitute, right? 

So I loaded a few of my favorite comedians into 'My List' on Netflix and had renewed hope that maybe, just maybe, I could actually have fun during my evening run.  Just a few hours later I hopped on the mill, set up my Netflix to stream into the screen of the treadmill, and Katt Williams and I got to work.  I have to admit, I was a little cautious of laughing out loud while running,  maybe people would think I was nuts?  So I kept it to a near perpetual smile with a few quiet laughs to myself.  After his comedy special I went to my favorite comedian - Aziz Ansari.  He released a special almost a year ago I hadn't seen yet so I was excited for the new material.  ....  And then it  happened.  He went into a bit about marriage that had me laughing so hard I had to hop onto the side rail, double over, and literally belly laugh so hard I cried.  Yep - me, with no one near me on the other treadmills, and no sense of how loud I was really laughing because I had the volume up pretty high in my ear buds.  And you know what?  I didn't give a shit.  Here I was with just a few miles to go, my face sore from smiling, and laughing so hard I could barely breathe.  Now THAT was fun.  :)

The next day for my 18 miler I woke up with the itch to take it to the road.  Sure there was plenty of ice around, it was only 11°, and we were supposed to get a snow storm, but hey!  I had trail shoes, YakTrax, and a check card to take with.  What could go wrong, right? I knew I needed some more gel cubes, so I figured I'd go to the gym and leave from there.  I'd run at least to Endurance House and back for gels, and any longer I went was just gravy. The rest I'd do on the mill.


At first the snow was a little bothersome since I was heading mostly into the wind and it was snowing pretty hard, so all the snowflakes felt like tiny daggers flying into my eyes, but it soon let up and just floated around me.  It was peaceful, hardly no cars on the road, and I had added some new tunes to my playlist so I was thoroughly enjoying my run.  After my stop to get my Cliff Shot Bloks I decided to do a bigger loop outside, so I headed towards the Pheasant Branch Conservancy.  The snow was great for traction on top of all the ice, but I still had to be pretty careful.  I ran a segment that was a couple miles long, then stopped at a PDQ before entering the big loop.  I bought a bottle of water to carry, and a Red Bull that I asked the clerk to keep behind the register until I got back.  (When it's that cold I don't like to drink cold things later in the run, so I wanted it to be room temperature by the time I drank it.)  I really hit my sweet spot the next few miles.  The trees were beautiful and served as a great wind block, the few people I saw were really friendly and the fresh air was amazing.  It was just cold enough that I didn't want to look at my gps EVER so I didn't really know how far I was at any point either, which is a nice change from the treadmill display staring back at me. 

As I headed north the footing got worse, and there was a lot of wide open areas.  I knew that the strip of trail heading back west would be the worst of the entire run (into the wind, not protected, and really icy) so I decided to jump off the trail into a beautiful residential area for a little extra mileage and to build up my body heat before hitting the hard part.  Well, it started out seeming like a good idea.  I *thought* I'd remember the street names and glide effortlessly back to where I came from, but instead I got completely turned around, ended up on the shoulder of a country highway for a while heading north when I thought I was going south.  Then resorting to trying to run in the highest elevation of the neighborhood to at least see where I had to go, but it was farm land on one side, and the conservancy on the other, and they looked exactly the same with the increasing snow fall. 


After admitting to myself that my sense of direction was completely nonexistent without the sun being visible I changed my focus to try and find someone shoveling their driveway so I could ask for directions.  A few blocks later I spotted an older woman shoveling and had a dog running around the yard so I ran up to her and laughed at her surprised expression (I was a snow covered, snot encrusted mess with a big old smile at the time).  She did her best to remember street names, but then said 'can I just give you a ride?  I have no idea what the street names are to get over there.'  My fingers were getting WAY cold at this point so I enthusiastically agreed. Her Portuguese Water Dog named Lodi hopped in the backseat and I quickly saw that I was 100% backwards in thinking I knew where I was going.  She offered to take me all the way home, but I said dropping me back at the trail was just fine. 


It was tough getting out of the heated leather seats to immediately tackle the toughest trail section of the day, but I was too busy laughing at my poorly thought out plan to notice how cold I got.  A few miles later I was back at the PDQ and happily downed half the warm Red Bull while patiently answering the questions from the clerk -'so, you like doing this?  Are you sure you can get back to where you're going?'  I must have looked worse than how I felt, or he just wasn't used to seeing runners. 

The few miles back to the gym went by incredibly fast and I was happy to see that I logged 15 miles in the snow before heading back inside, which only left three miles to do on the treadmill. 

This weekend felt like a turning point for me - I no longer feel like I'm just logging miles and getting through it.  I'm running miles and really enjoying it again, I'm not pre-occupied with the effort or the logistics.  It's finally second nature and I can feel myself recovering faster, breathing easier,  even laughing during these runs!  It's given me a lot of confidence that I've been doing the right things these past couple months.  I have my first 20 miler of the year this weekend, and then it's off to Vegas for a work trip.  I'm excited to share with you guys the kinds of workouts I do when I'm traveling.  I don't believe in the excuse that someone can't workout just because they're on the road!

 

Mental Game

If there is one thing I've learned about myself the last 6 weeks or so, it's that my creativity level is in direct proportion with how much time I spend outside.  As you can infer by my lack of blog posts lately, I've been spending almost all my time inside.  In my office.  In my gym. In my apartment.  It's not news to anyone that many parts of the US have had a brutal winter so far, and instead of being hard headed and insisting on increasing my mileage outside on the ice and snow, I've stayed mostly inside on the treadmill, trying to enjoy wearing shorts and streaming Netflix onto the treadmill screen, but in those miles I haven't found myself thinking creatively, I have found myself doing what I can to get through the workout. 

As I am now into what I call 'Phase 2' of my training, I am focusing pretty intensely on the mental aspect of my runs. Instead of focusing all my attention on the episode of WorkOut, or documentary I'm watching, I am trying to simply be where I am.  Stay present in my workout, maybe even connect with people around me to mentally stay in that gym, be in my body, accept that I will be there on that treadmill for 2 or 3 hours, and just be relaxed and patient.  I am sure that most of you can relate to doing something and often times thinking about where you'd rather be, what you'd rather be doing, what you need to do when you're done with the task at hand.  I think that's natural, but I also think it's a drain on your mental power, and lowers your enjoyment level at the present moment.  How brutal is it to be only 6 miles into a 16 miler and all you can think about is what you want to eat, how good your bed probably feels, how you can't wait to check you phone to see how many people 'liked' your status  update that you're doing your long run...  It takes you out of your moment and you're just anxious to be onto the next thing.  And guess what - when you are on to your next task you're probably wishing you were onto the next thing, and so on. 

So that's my current focus, which I think will pay dividends when it comes to my 50k in April.  The conditions are likely to be pretty bad, and I anticipate that it will be slow going - and what could make that worse?  Wishing it was over, wishing I was further along, wishing I was in the car with my finisher's medal on the way home.... I know that being in the moment, accepting that I will be out there for a long time, talking with other runners around me, and doing what I can to enjoy the beauty of the trail will keep me enjoying the most adverse running conditions. 

I did make it a point to get outside for a while today and got creative with my recovery workout.  It was sunny and almost 20° so I threw on some layers, made sure my snowshoes were in the trunk, and went out to Indian Lake.  My legs felt surprisingly good for how tired they were last night during my 16 miler, so I decided to run up all the inclines on the trails to mix things up and get a little extra credit hill work in.  Conditions were a bit icy but the snowshoes handled that well so I was able to enjoy the scenery, appreciate my body's quick recovery, stop here and there to listen to the birds sing, and had a nice conversation with a woman who was cross country skiing.  I did think a bit about what I had planned afterwards, but for the most part my mind stayed on the trail, and appreciated the time spent outside.  Here's a few photos from the snowy trail.