5 Months Later: 3 Ways Italy Changed Me For The Better

Just 5 months ago I arrived back in the United States from a solo trip to Italy that involved mastering a tiny Fiat 500, navigating countless situations without knowing the language, deciphering the train ticketing process, using their tolls on the autoestrada, ….. You get the idea.  Everything is new when you’re in a foreign country, and there were a handful of moments where I would stop and wonder how that trip would impact me down the road. 

My darling little Fiat 500

It took some work to figure these out!

In the midst of constantly new situations there’s a certain level of stress, but it was always offset by the beauty and curiosity of the culture and the landscape. 

Vernazza

Now that it has been a few months since that epic adventure I feel like I have some degree of clarity on the impact it had. 

1 – Handling emotions.  Italians are the kings of expressing how they feel – they use big gestures, talk loudly, maybe even slap someone! Now I’m not saying I go around slapping people, but seeing how Italians in general would allow themselves to react, communicate their feelings (whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, or whatever else) and then move on with things was striking. It is soooooo American (and definitely Hulick American) to bottle things up.  Stuff it down, let it fester, try and ignore it, and when you least expect it, the cork blows off and look out – we lose our minds over something as inconsequential as traffic, someone writing a check in an express lane, or a person standing still on the escalator.     

Now this is a very different way of handling myself than I’ve traditionally done, but I’ve made a conscious effort to remind myself that actually feeling things and expressing myself real-time is an option.  And you know what?  When I do it, I feel better WAY more quickly.  And another bonus of that style…. Is that people see you as more human.  Imagine that! 

2 – Taking your damn time.  My first glimpse of slow moving, relaxed work styles was on a trip to Jamaica quite a few years ago.  I remember standing with my mouth gaping open as I looked at the ticketing counter in the Montego Bay airport.  There was a long line of people in front of me, and the employees standing behind the desk strolled and chit chatted with each other like they were the only ones there.  I thought my head would explode!

Now I knew Italians were slow movers – I had listened to Rick Steves’ words of advice to relax, take your time walking around, and blend in with the locals.  I was ready to pretend I was a slow walker. 

It didn’t take long to get the hang of slowing down and really looking around – every place I went to was ripe with beauty!  To stroll, look at how the sunlight hit the church steeples, take note of the seaplanes on Lake Como, and smile at a little girl eating gelato while getting it all over her flowered dress – it was easy.  After all, I was on vacation, AND I was in debatably one of the most beautiful countries in the world! 

Outside of driving, I was always moving in a lower gear on this trip. (Tearing around the curves in the Dolomites was way too fun to pass up!)  And what I found was that it allowed for my mind to move slower, and I was able to be much more present and interactive with everything around me.  At home that’s much harder to do, but reminding myself to slow down, not fill every moment of my calendar, and even allow for a slower run once in a while has proven to be really soothing for me. 

3 – Lesson #3 to me has been the most significant thing I learned.  Italians are wired completely differently than your average American in terms of acquiring things / improving things / upgrading things.  You often see people who live in the same tiny home that their grandparents were born in – they don’t have spacious living quarters, and a lot of times they don’t even have a yard.  They probably have a doorway that they keep swept and maybe even have a little religious shrine with candles and some statues, but that’s it.  The stones around the door may be crumbling away, the shudders on the windows (that don’t have any screens) have been there longer than anyone can remember, and every single car has dents in it. 

Typical shrine you see all over in Italy

Seeing these people be so happy with the small space they had, and the few items they owned made me take a hard look at where my money goes - what I buy and for what reason, and what my most expensive bills are.  Every month I take more strides to be more aware of where I’m spending and have cancelled my cable, started more intentional budgeting of my non-bills money, and am even debating downgrading my car when my lease is up next November. I mean, I love the Benz, but wouldn’t I be just as happy driving a mid-range sedan to and from work?   In all honesty, probably. 

Typical residential alley in Chioggia

This one makes it easier to see how close
people's homes are to each other.  Nesso, Italy.

It seems to be a very American habit to keep buying things, upgrading your car/house/boat/motorcycle/wardrobe, and I really question why that matters.  You can’t take any of that with you when you go, and one of my favorite things I’ve heard recently is ‘you don’t ever see a hearse with a roofrack’.  So true.  Egyptians tried to take their prized possessions with them, and eventually people dug it up and stole it anyway.

So now as I look back, I can see that this trip has caused me to shift some of my values.  I place much higher value on my relationships than I do with being ‘busy’ or getting new things.  I recognize that letting myself express an emotion right away and then moving past it serves me way better than brooding or trying to ignore it.  And slowing down doesn’t mean you look like a person that doesn’t have purpose.  You are simply a person enjoying your experience.  And it’s okay.  (I never thought I’d ever say that.)

Thank you Italy for the things I learned, and thank you Hayley Acosta for convincing me to come, and taking me in for the first few nights. 

Next European adventure:  Athens, Greece and Istanbul, Turkey in November 2016.

Making Another Dream A Reality - Hot Damn!

A couple months ago I decided to re-name my blog ‘2015 – Time To Level Up.’   The name encompasses a lot more than just what I decided to name my coaching business.  I’ve been working to ‘level up’ in every facet of my life  - my career, my relationships, my health, my ways of thinking – and it’s been an amazing (and yes, challenging) process.  I signed up for a personal development course back in early January that has significantly impacted how I set goals, how I think, and how I move forward in my life.  One thing he taught me is to question myself whenever I say I can’t do something, or I wish I could do something. 

Just this past Saturday I got a message from a friend that lives with her husband and daughter in northern Italy.  She told me that the exchange rate is the best it’s been in a decade, so it’s a great time for European travel, and that I should come out there. As great as that sounded, my first thought was ‘I wish I could do that, but I can’t go out there.’  Thanks to my work with Jesse Elder I noticed my comment, and then thought – Why can’t I go?   I already had a block of time off work scheduled for July which I was intending to use as a Colorado vacation.  I hadn’t booked any reservations yet or registered for any races, so there was no penalty there.  I then went through the pricing for my Colorado trip, and when you include the extra miles I’d need to add on to my car lease, Europe is actually looking cheaper.  Cheaper!  So with that, I decided that I CAN travel to Europe this summer.  Yay! 

Now chunks of my days are dedicated to daydreaming of European train rides, walks, bed and breakfasts in Athens, sipping coffee while looking at Lake Geneva in Switzerland, and strolling through the streets of Rome while buying lunch from a street vendor.  All because I challenged my initial belief that I couldn’t go!    

This ties in perfectly with a conversation I had with an old college friend over lunch yesterday.  We were talking about vision, and having faith – I tied that into goal setting.  I have a pretty solid vision for the kind of life I want to lead, the kind of relationships I want to have, and the kind of work I want to do.  I like to dream big and aim high, which can be hard – especially when you’re a planner!  I know that I want the kind of life and financial comfort that if I want to take a vacation somewhere exotic, I can do it.  So that’s what I picture – I don’t know exactly how I’ll get there, but knowing that’s what I ultimately want is half the battle!  I decided on that vision about two years ago. I knew I wanted to experience different cultures and other parts of the world – I wasn’t clear on exactly how I wanted to accomplish that, but I knew that’s what I wanted.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.  I decided that my first step would be to work on eliminating as many monthly bills as I could, so if a fun travel opportunity presented itself, I could more easily pull the trigger.  Just last month I had looked at my spreadsheet I use to track my bills and looked back to a year ago, and then two years ago- and I had done it! I had less than half of the number of bills to pay each month – so there was my wiggle room!  It’s amazing what can happen when you set your sights high, and then take action.  And in this circumstance, the action each month was small – tackling things with the smallest balances first, getting rid of some accounts and subscriptions but the cumulative effect is significant.  So much so that I’m going on my dream vacation to Europe in only 2 months, one week and five days! 

If I can leave you with just a few nuggets from this wonderful change of events for me it would be these:

-          Question yourself every single time you say you can’t do something, or wish you could do something.  Those are probably your self-imposed limitations talking.

-          Get clear on what you want.  Think big, and think about why you want the life you’re picturing.  You are entitled to want whatever you want, no matter what it is.  If it’s humanly possible to have what you’re envisioning, then go with it. 

-          Take action, no matter how small.  People often get caught up in planning, thinking, asking other people for advice, studying, thinking some more…. And what do you have after all that?  You may have amassed some knowledge, but you don’t have any progress.  So just do something to move you even an inch closer to what you want. As my story shows, over time it accumulates to something significant!