Just 5 months ago I arrived back in the United States from a
solo trip to Italy that involved mastering a tiny Fiat 500, navigating
countless situations without knowing the language, deciphering the train
ticketing process, using their tolls on the autoestrada, ….. You get the
idea. Everything is new when
you’re in a foreign country, and there were a handful of moments where I would
stop and wonder how that trip would impact me down the road.
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| My darling little Fiat 500 |
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| It took some work to figure these out! |
In the midst of
constantly new situations there’s a certain level of stress, but it was always
offset by the beauty and curiosity of the culture and the landscape.
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| Vernazza |
Now that it has been a few months since that epic adventure
I feel like I have some degree of clarity on the impact it had.
1 – Handling emotions. Italians are the kings of expressing how they
feel – they use big gestures, talk loudly, maybe even slap someone! Now I’m not
saying I go around slapping people, but seeing how Italians in general would
allow themselves to react, communicate their feelings (whether it’s happiness,
sadness, anger, or whatever else) and then move on with things was striking. It
is soooooo American (and definitely Hulick American) to bottle things up. Stuff it down, let it fester, try and ignore
it, and when you least expect it, the cork blows off and look out – we lose our
minds over something as inconsequential as traffic, someone writing a check in
an express lane, or a person standing still on the escalator.
Now this is a very different way of handling myself than
I’ve traditionally done, but I’ve made a conscious effort to remind myself that
actually feeling things and expressing myself real-time is an option. And you know what? When I do it, I feel better WAY more
quickly. And another bonus of that
style…. Is that people see you as more
human. Imagine that!
2 – Taking your damn
time. My first glimpse of slow
moving, relaxed work styles was on a trip to Jamaica quite a few years
ago. I remember standing with my mouth
gaping open as I looked at the ticketing counter in the Montego Bay airport. There was a long line of people in
front of me, and the employees standing behind the desk strolled and chit
chatted with each other like they were the only ones there. I thought my head would explode!
Now I knew Italians were slow movers – I had listened to
Rick Steves’ words of advice to relax, take your time walking around, and blend
in with the locals. I was ready to pretend I was
a slow walker.
It didn’t take long to get the hang of slowing down and
really looking around – every place I went to was ripe with beauty! To stroll, look at how the sunlight hit the
church steeples, take note of the seaplanes on Lake Como, and smile at a little
girl eating gelato while getting it all over her flowered dress – it was
easy. After all, I was on vacation, AND
I was in debatably one of the most beautiful countries in the world!
Outside of driving, I was always moving in a lower gear on
this trip. (Tearing around the curves in the Dolomites was way too fun to pass
up!) And what I found was that it
allowed for my mind to move slower, and I was able to be much more present and
interactive with everything around me.
At home that’s much harder to do, but reminding myself to slow down, not
fill every moment of my calendar, and even allow for a slower run once in a
while has proven to be really soothing for me.
3 – Lesson #3 to me
has been the most significant thing I learned. Italians are wired completely differently
than your average American in terms of acquiring
things / improving things / upgrading things. You often see people who live in the same
tiny home that their grandparents were born in – they don’t have spacious
living quarters, and a lot of times they don’t even have a yard. They probably have a doorway that they keep
swept and maybe even have a little religious shrine with candles and some
statues, but that’s it. The stones
around the door may be crumbling away, the shudders on the windows (that don’t
have any screens) have been there longer than anyone can remember, and every
single car has dents in it.
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| Typical shrine you see all over in Italy |
Seeing these people
be so happy with the small space they had, and the few items they owned made me
take a hard look at where my money goes - what I buy and for what reason,
and what my most expensive bills are.
Every month I take more strides to be more aware of where I’m spending and
have cancelled my cable, started more intentional budgeting of my non-bills
money, and am even debating downgrading
my car when my lease is up next November. I mean, I love the Benz, but
wouldn’t I be just as happy driving a mid-range sedan to and from work? In all honesty, probably.
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| Typical residential alley in Chioggia |
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| This one makes it easier to see how close people's homes are to each other. Nesso, Italy. |
It seems to be a very American habit to keep buying things,
upgrading your car/house/boat/motorcycle/wardrobe, and I really question why
that matters. You can’t take any of that
with you when you go, and one of my favorite things I’ve heard recently is ‘you don’t ever see a hearse with a roofrack’. So true. Egyptians tried to take their prized
possessions with them, and eventually people dug it up and stole it anyway.
So now as I look back, I can see that this trip has caused
me to shift some of my values. I place
much higher value on my relationships than I do with being ‘busy’ or getting
new things. I recognize that letting
myself express an emotion right away and then moving past it serves me way
better than brooding or trying to ignore it.
And slowing down doesn’t mean you look like a person that doesn’t have
purpose. You are simply a person
enjoying your experience. And it’s
okay. (I never thought I’d ever say
that.)
Thank you Italy for the things I learned, and thank you
Hayley Acosta for convincing me to come, and taking me in for the first few
nights.
Next European adventure:
Athens, Greece and Istanbul, Turkey in November 2016.
