Thursday, November 12, 2015

When The Wheels Fall Off

In my most recent post I announced my big goal of attempting to land myself in the top 10 women finishers ever in the FANS 12 Hour Ultra Race.  I have a very elaborate training plan.  I have taken my nutrition, strength, flexibility, balance, sleep, and even natural energy patterns into consideration.  And you know what?  Even with all that planning, shit happens.  You can’t control everything, and to be completely honest, there’s very little you control at all. 
Tuesday night I ran with my usual group of awesome runner friends on a route that should have been a breeze.  It was a 6+ mile route around places I was familiar, with familiar faces, and is something I had done countless times before.  Slam dunk, right?  Wrong.  WAY wrong.  The entire run felt like I was going uphill, through quicksand with twin toddlers pulling at my legs.  I was flat out miserable.  Lungs burning. Hands freezing.  Feet barely getting off the ground.  I was thankful that I had a great guy running with me that helped me stay focused, and even remind me that it was great practice for having to run uncomfortable during next year’s 12 hour event.  It was my most difficult run in years. 

I also currently have a few people in my life that I care very much about that are struggling with their own sets of challenges.  Addictions, relationship troubles, you name it.  Things are heavy in my circle right now.  And they are challenges that I can’t do anything about.  As much as I like to swoop in and make person’s day, fix a problem, and come to the rescue, there was nothing I could do for any of them. 

As I proceeded to stew about my horrible run, and these sweet people that are struggling, it wasn’t until I took a step back, caught up on some sleep, and did some good self-care, that it hit me.   I was focused on what I don’t want.  I was thinking about how badly I didn’t want another horrible run like that, about how I didn’t want these people to feel alone or helpless.  I felt frozen in that line of thinking.  Until this morning. 

I woke up with resolve to attack my day and get my head on straight.  I wanted to focus on what I could control - my actions and my intentions. Time to think about what I DO want.  I want to have solid workouts, so I need to stick to proper nutrition, hydration, and sleep.  I want the people I’m concerned about to know that I care, that I’m in their corner, and that I will continue to be there.  THAT I can control, because that’s on me.  Those are things I can have influence over.  It feels so much better to DO something than be frozen in what you’re afraid of, or what you desperately don’t want to happen. 



Tonight I get back up on the running ‘horse’ so to speak, and know that I’ve taken better care of myself to increase my likelihood of a better run.  And if for some reason it’s a struggle again, I will rely on the wonderful people around me to help me get through it, and I’ll focus on what I can do to make the next one better. 

I will also reach out to those people that have been on my mind, and remind them that I’m thinking of them.  It doesn’t solve the problem, but it is something I can do and feel good about.  And that is a step in a much more powerful direction.


If this resonates with you and you could use a mental boost to switch you own gears, give this a listen.  Peter Sage is awesome. 




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